Dear brand new mama,
First of all—breathe. You’re going to make it. That sweet little baby in your arms is worth it. Study him, memorize him, because before you know it that little newborn is going to be a big boy who you’ll be chasing around the house.
I know you’re in pain, I get you’re beyond exhausted. You didn’t think this would be so hard. I understand. Who knew that this precious little angel in your arms would cause so much havoc, that it’s not all pretty? It’s okay to feel sad, disappointed, even frustrated. You’ll make it, I promise.
Those sleepless nights? The ones that you thought you would never make it through? They go by so fast, it gets better. The days of carrying that screaming, inconsolable baby? You will look back and smile. Yes, I said it, smile. You’re laughing bitterly at me as you read these words, but it will pass and you’ll be a better, stronger person for having gone through it.
It’s okay to ask for help—to call your mama bawling because you can’t take your baby’s constant, colicky screaming anymore. And when she gives you the advice to put him down for a few minutes, take a breath, then go back and whisper in that treasured baby’s ear—take it. You’re not a bad mama for needing a break. It gets overwhelming.
Nursing is hard. Don’t feel bad if it takes you a long time to figure it out. Remember your baby is just as new at this as you. It may take five months to get there, but you will. Don’t give up; that sweet little one is worth it. It gets easier… I promise.
Everyone is going to give you advice on what to do. They are all going to believe that they know what is best for you and your little. They don’t, you do—remember that and figure out how to trust yourself. You want to co-sleep? Do it. You want to wear your baby all day in a carrier? Do it. You don’t want to sleep train? You don’t have to. You know what is best more than anyone.
Remember to be still. To soak in your baby. To love him. Don’t worry about the dishes or laundry. They can wait, your baby can’t. It’s alright not to be productive around the house. Loving and hugging that baby is more important. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for doing so.
Mama, give grace to your husband. He’s new at this too. He’s doing his very best to support you, to love you both, and help the best he can. It hurts him to see you struggle, but brings him the greatest joy to see you both thrive. Kiss him even when you’re tired. Hold his hand when you’re sitting together. Don’t forget that he is important. Don’t forget that he needs your love, too.
Remember that God is leading both of you through this scary, difficult, yet beautiful time. I know it all seems overpowering, but you’re going to look back one day and realize that you’re doing it. That baby who used to scream unless he was in your arms is rolling around alone in the living room while you’re showering. Now when you put him in a car seat, he isn’t freaking out. That you’re actually enjoying every day with him. You’ll look back and forget all the pain you went through and feel proud because you made it. You’re a strong woman in Christ.
This isn’t easy. Oh, but it’s worth it. The love that you feel each day grows. Yes, it gets more intense. Every day. You’ll think you can’t love him more than you do in that moment, but then tomorrow comes and that love got bigger.
Don’t forget Jesus in this all, for He is the one holding your hand. Don’t get angry at Him when you feel so lonely you could cry. He’s there, He never left. Talk to Him—tell Him your fears and frustrations. He will listen and give you doors to go through. He loves you more than you could ever fathom.
Mama-- You’re doing an amazing job. Don’t forget you are beautiful, strong, and remarkable. You are a daughter of Christ. This will get easier, I promise. You will make it and look back and actually miss these brand new days.
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